Unwearable Fashion Trends in 2007
From Bondage Sandals & Bubble Dresses to Corset Belts & High Waists
Having reached the end of 2007, the middle-aged, fashion-conscious woman can now heave a sigh of relief at the demise of the year's cruelest fashion trends.
Unless you were young and had skyscraper legs, the mini dress or baby doll was a cruel infliction on women who were of less than average-height and a size 12 up.
With its extreme fashion trends, 2007 was a particularly difficult year for most average 30 or 40-somethings. It was almost impossible for women to find anything remotely wearable in high-street stores!
Whilst mini dresses, corset belts, smocked baby dolls, bubble dresses, puff ball skirts, bondage sandals and cummerband high-waisted trousers were hot fashion items, only the young and slender had a good chance of carrying them off.
Dresses
- Next year, thankfully appears to be kinder, with the versatile (and leg covering) maxi dress, feminine flares and Grecian-style drapes. However, even maxi dresses are set to be more close-cut than the diaphanous milkmaid-type which hit the shops in 2007.
Leggings
- The only stylish way to wear a pair of leggings is under a dress (hiding the bulges). Unless in your teens or 20s, they should not be the main focus of an outfit.
- Leggings appear to be one of those perennial fashion pieces – in 2008 they refuse to die. Next season they are to be found in floral spring-like colors, inlcuding lemon and pink.
Shoes
- Chunky platforms and bondage sandals do nothing to flatter the average pair of legs. However, wedges are still very much in vogue during 2008, complementing long-flowing maxis and volumnous skirts. Wedges also have a slimming effect.
- Bondage sandals look great on pins that can carry them off. Sadly, many middle-aged women can’t. Instead, they end up looking like a slave from the Roman Empire or even worse, a fashion victim. The same applies to Gladiator styles.
- Shoe-Boots are, according to the Daily Mail’s article "Celebrity Fashion Victims"of 30th December 2007, “the very worst fashion trend of 2007.” A shoe-boot shortens the leg and is less than flattering (or feminine) to a woman of below-average height. However, that didn’t stop the Fendi Bondage Shoe-Boot from becoming Net a Porter’s fastest seller of the year, according to the Daily Mail.
High-Waisted Pants
- A cruel device by fashion designers to make middle-aged spread appear even more noticeable by squeezing a roll of fat over the waistband. For fairly tall, waif like figures, Matador-style high-waisted trousers and jeans are incredibly feminine and flattering, but not if you are 5’3 with a spare tire. However, in their defense, they do lengthen the leg and can make you look extra curvy.
- The high-waisted trend still carries over to 2008, but there is a choice of wider cuts, as well as lower-waisted styles.
Tote Bags
- Anya Hindmarch’s cotton tote bag sold out the same day, when launched by a major UK supermarket chain. According to the Daily Mail's article, "2007 By Numbers" of 31st December 2007, "20,000 Shopping bags bearing the slogan "I’m not a plastic bag" sold out immediately when put on sale at Sainsbury’s supermarkets in May."
- This environmentally -friendly shopping bag has to be one of the most overhyped products of the year. Not least because, according to the Daily Mail', it was produced in sweatshops.
The good news for fashion-conscious thirty and forty-somethings is that 2008 looks set to be brighter. Hot trends are emerging that are more flattering and kinder to the average woman's figure.
With a choice of short or long dresses, tailored suits, feminine drapes, pleats and transparent fabrics there is less chance of looking like mutton dressed as lamb. Not to mention the revival of the sophisticated and sexy Audrey Hepburn-style classics.
We look forward to Spring and Summer 2008, when the average fashion-conscious, middle-aged woman can once more pass a mirror without wincing.
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